Why am I so attractive?
Why do I get so many anonymous messages a day?
Just kidding…
I’m bored, lets chit chat? Any Marilyn Monroe obsessed people out there?

idiotshitbaby:

i’m eating but i wish i was getting eaten* u feel me

*disclaimer: this is a sexual post, i do not condone cannibalism

(via dgotsswaggur)

ohdwaynewayne:

By all means.

(Source: yeahniall, via mermaidwithblunts)

squareclocks:

kushroom:

so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal

Slam me in my tender butthole 

I think I’ve just found my new favorite phrase. 

(via dgotsswaggur)